Morning,
Well.
Well well.
Well.
I’m due for surgery now in 12 days (that’s the good news!).
The bad news is that my leg problems are increasing daily. I started my beloved circle walk….and after 100 feet, realized…it would be utter insanity to continue it.
So I came back home.
I’m at a crossroads yet again in my life. I want to continue exercising…and at the same time, I know I must give my leg a rest. Thus, perhaps I’ll simply lift weights later on today. But what a personal shock it was for me to realize my current state.
In the interim, I reviewed our dojo’s sword demo, and was able to transcribe all 106 moves. I will bring this paper with me to the hospital; might as well teach myself something while I’m in recovery.
I find myself wanting to be several people at once. I want to run away and hide…yet I want to continue with my karate/self defense until the last possible moment. I want to be by myself so I can drop the confident facade….and at the same time, I want to be in front of my colleagues and conquer all my fear and pain and overcome my current worries. I want to prove to myself that no matter what happens in my life, I will not only survive…but thrive.
12 more days and counting.
And life goes on,
Barbara
ps – Pedometers are great for walking, did you know that?