Morning,
As a parent, one of the things about which I’m always bemused is how other parents will excuse their children from excellence.
Now, I’m not talking about achieving a straight A average all the time, every time. Heck no! But I am talking about knowing what your child’s ability is…and then insisting on meeting that when push comes to shove.
For example, this morning my 6 year old showed me his math homework in which he neglected to finish the last two problems. “Mom”, whined he, “I didn’t see them!” Which, given the fact said two problems took up the entire page….is kinda sorta difficult to believe. Truth was, his desire to finish quickly and get back to the computer caused him to overlook the homework.
Now, my kids know…hand in something lousy, Mom rips it up. Luckily for him, I was folding clothing in the laundry and mulling over how I’m going to outlast the karate senseis today in boot camp…so I wasn’t really focused on being hardnosed. So I allowed him to rescue the paper before it was completely ripped, and fix up his errors.
Consequences! All kids need to know what the consequences are for poor performance. And it can’t be rigid….if a child fails because of other issues (other problems, angst, etc.), those have to be explored, validated and then dealt with.
Parenting has to be the toughest thing I’ve done in my life, period.
Yesterday we had a different challenge – my eldest daughter brought home an 84 in her Wordly Wise. Now, an 84 for my kid is like watching a black belt fail at a front kick, or a toddler fail at consuming a chocolate bar. It just doesn’t happen in my family…or it shouldn’t; English and Literature are things my family was born knowing.
So! My kid was banned from the computer for two days. Poor grades result always in computer bans (and sometimes additional housework). It’s the law in my household and when implemented, causes quite a lot of discussions.
But you know what? Once my kids get into college, they’ll have to rely upon their own abilities to deliver top-notch work. Mom won’t be there. And when they get out into the real world, they’ll have to step up to the plate and excel on their own. I’d be a lousy parent if I didn’t start that character-building at this age when it’s easy to internalize.
So….if you’re a parent, tell your kids your expectations! The final grade doesn’t matter – it’s the honest effort that’s put in at this age that counts. I’ve rewarded my kids for poor performance when I know they’ve done the very best effort they could….not everyone will excel, every time.
But you’ll have given them the tools to always deliver to the best of their abilities. And that, of course, is a very precious gift indeed.
Enjoy,
Barbara
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